I decided yesterday that I was finally going to break down and get those stupid X-rays done today, since my appointment with the new rheumatologist is Tuesday, it's a holiday weekend, and well, I'm running out of time and excuses. It's not that I haven't had X-rays done before, so I know they don't hurt (HA!) it's just that, well, as much as I want a diagnosis, I dread the thought of another test/scan and another bill. And after my 3am wakeup call/debacle, I probably should've gone tomorrow.
I must've had a serious leg cramp or spasm during the night and managed to kick over the half full cup (and by cup, I mean the ginormous plastic McD's cup) of Crystal Light) on my night stand at 3am. At first I wasn't going to deal with it because what was it going to ruin? Sealed plastic containers of vitamin and prescription bottles? Water my bamboo plant? (like I haven't spilled worse into it by now) Lotions? Meh. I had just put laundry away, so the drawers are actually closed! Not worth getting out of bed and dealing with it. I'll clean it up in the morning. Then I remember that my cell phone is on the night stand. And my laptop is leaning against it. Dammit. Lucky for me, I actually managed to kick the cup, iced tea and all, into my trash can! I couldn't make a shot like that again if I tried, but it did of course mean that something was going to go wrong, only because that's how my luck works. (Did I mention one of my parakeets escaped again before I went to bed?.. yeah...the blue one is the little smarta** who loves to test my patience)
So I finally wake up for real this morning and the coffee pot I threatened yesterday again isn't pouring coffee. I get ready to finally get these stupid X-rays over and done with. I figure I'll go, get them done, stop at the local health and beauty store for a few things, treat myself to Starbucks, and get my nails done before I go home. What I didn't expect was just how painful X-rays could be. Before today, I could almost build an entire skeleton (minus maybe 1 or 2 bones) out of all the X-rays I've ever had of myself. Seriously... I'm THAT accident prone. Why I don't glow in the dark is beyond me. But when it came time to do my hip X-rays, I swear, it felt like I was auditioning for the latest Cirque du Soleil! There are just certain ways humans should not, cannot, and DO NOT bend, people! Having an inherited/genetic defect in my hips definitely doesn't help. It just means that it's that much easier to dislocate my hips--something I desperately tried to explain to the technician and didn't get out in time. Lucky for her, she put her hand on my hip when I couldn't/wouldn't move my leg the way she needed me to and felt my hip dislocating before it completely dislocated. Then when I was handed the disk with the X-rays on them, I discovered the imaging place now puts them in sealed envelopes. I wouldn't know what to look for, or what I'm looking at if there was a problem, but I've always found it kinda cool to look at my insides. I mean, it's me...just from the inside. Turns out, people actually go online, look up what abnormal scans are supposed to look like, and actually forge their own scans to receive disability! The f*ck? Now I have to wait until next week to see what I had to go through a damn circus audition for...
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