Weeding

It's been awhile.  Partly because it's been a pretty rough week.  Lyme Disease (again) + unstable weather= hell.  It's quite a vicious circle, really.  The more pain I'm in, the less I want to be up and moving, the worst my sleep gets, and the less I move, the less I sleep, the more pain I'm in.  Not to mention stress just intensifies everything.  So I decided that at the very least, I'll stretch twice a day, watch what I eat (which lately is hardly anything), and attempt aromatherapy.  I've used lavendar to help calm down in the past, but I figured I'd try something new.  Eucalyptus Spearmint.  I will admit complete and total failure.  Not only does the smell make me extremely nauseous, I'm allergic to the lotion.  At least one of my friends is going to benefit from it--she loves the smell and is getting all of it.  I think I'll stick to lavendar. 

     Aside from that nauseous, itchy lesson this week, I also started thinking about the people who've been through my life.  Very few are still there, but they've more than shown they deserve to be and I can't be any luckier to have them.  Others who are gone had me thinking about people in general.  Especially the last few.  Everyone has the capability to hurt others.  Very few it seems choose to try not to hurt others, at least intentionally.  Entirely too many use that capability to inflict pain and suffering on others for a variety of selfish reasons.  And to that end, I will never understand.  I've met those who prefer talking with their fists (or anything they can use as a weapon), those who aren't capable of honesty and integrity no matter how much is on the line, and those who seem to only care about their own wants and satisfaction.  People don't exactly walk around wearing signs that they don't deserve the name human.  They come in all shapes, sizes, races, etc.  The hard part is figuring out who is worth trusting and who isn't.  To not trust anyone but those already in your life is an easy escape, but it doesn't allow room to let anyone else in.  The plus side of that is at least the ones you know and trust have proven that they won't hurt you on purpose.  On the other hand, you can miss out on the chance to meet more amazing people.  That's more or less where I am.  How do you trust people when the last few you've let in the door have done every possible thing to tear you apart?