If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around, does it still make a sound? What becomes that tree? What about the trees surrounding it? Eventually, the fallen tree will become one with our Earth. It will become covered with moss and cobwebs, insects will make homes out of its bark. Maybe a squirrel or other small animal build a home in it. Then it just becomes part of the scenery, breaking down until one would barely notice it was ever there. Some trees around it might get scarred, cut, or lose a few branches as their neighbor falls to the earth. New branches may sprout from the ends of the ones stripped away, while bark will reform and recover most of the cuts and scars so that no one will ever notice the damage to it.
Is it a cheesy metaphor? Most likely, but it is a reminder of life. Sometimes others fall around us, taking us down with them. Then sometimes we become injured, scarred, as they fall. Sometimes there is warning, such as a storm, a windy day, or weeks of floods. Other times, it comes without warning, tearing our lives apart. The hardest part is to get right back on our feet, re-rooting our feet in the earth. This past few days has taught me to do just that. I met someone many months ago through a mutual friend. She introduced us online. After a time, something began to blossom between us. I questioned things that didn't make sense to me and was always given answers that made sense. We spent an amazing weekend together that nothing will erase. What was erased, however, was the kind, patient, loving, wonderful man I got to know. In its place is a cold, calculating, selfish monster. What started out as plans for an amazing weekend before he went home for a month turned into an all out, upside down turning, tornado crashing through my life. Suddenly, I am deleted from his life--literally-- and find out that he was falling for another woman closer to his permanent home. All the time it took to build up trust, to learn about each other, and to fall hopelessly in love was undone in under 12 hours. I realized that I had no idea who he really is. So, like the fallen tree and its damaged surroundings, it is time to leave those memories where they are and move forward. It would be a lie to say this situation hasn't brought me to my knees. It has also forced me to stop, take stock in my life, and make decisions that will affect the rest of my life. And no one heard the screams that my heart and soul let out. Like the fallen tree, I will never be the same, but something better will grow out of all of this. I've stopped trying to wrap my head around what happened and why. I also refuse to blame myself, as I did right as often as I could. I was honest (to which he was not), forgiving (to which he isn't), and know in that short span of time, I gave everything I had. Now to wash it behind me and search through the dense, dark woods for that ray of sunlight to regrow.
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