Unwinding

    Contrary to popular belief, I've never been very good at being a sloth.  Even at my worst, I find my OCD kicking in and start doing little things.  I can't tell you how many times I've rearranged my desk, nighstand, book shelves, cleaned out junk drawers (where the hell does all that crap keep coming from?), and stuff like that.  Well, that's when I'm not so bad that I'm literally sleeping about 20 hours a day no matter how hard I try not to.  It's no secret that my life is extremely stressful either.  Some stress I can control, but a majority of it I can't.  I'm still working on that balance of how I react to the stress of the things I have no control over.  It's not easy.  I was in a pretty serious car accident my senior year in high school and among the worst of my injuries was a broken neck and a case of whiplash so severe I no longer have a curve in my neck.  So when I start to become stressed, the muscles in my neck and shoulders become tense (like everyone else) and the headaches that result are about a step below a migraine.  Considering the rest of my medical problems, it just all sucks to say the least.
     I woke up from another weird dream at 4 this morning soaked again and knew I wasn't going back to sleep.  It's been a very emotionally draining week and the next few weeks aren't looking to be any easier as I'm about to finally get a diagnosis after well over a decade of hearing psychosomatic, hypochondriac, then one misdiagnosis after another.  It doesn't help that another front is coming through with over an inch of rain with it, so my pain level is pretty high up there.  Then I caught a few breaks that changed everything for the next few days.
     I couldn't get in to see my neurologist until July, but he put me on the top of his cancelation list yesterday.  At 10am I got a call from his nurse--I go in early next week to see him for a check up, talk to him about my "magical morphing migraines," and a few other things.  It also means I'm one step closer to being able to fire that jackass rheumatologist. (Yay!)  Unfortunately, I was planning on visiting my grandmother that day, but mom & I will go another day.  The sooner I finish firing that jackass, the faster at least some stress will ease.
     I spent a few hours just relaxing in the recliner talking to mom and before I realized it, it was almost 3.  Other than taking the call from my neurologist and doing a quick online search for a few things, I hadn't done anything.  I was relaxed and.... I didn't have a headache!  By 7, I decided that this entire weekend I wasn't going to do a damn thing.  At all.  I'm going to just relax because I can, stretch out, decompress, and deal with everything on Monday because I can.  And for my own sanity, I have to.