I haven't written anything in awhile (and what I have written before the break wasn't really much of anything, except for a few decent blogs) because a lot of things have been happening at once in addition to adjusting to the new medications, allowing my diagnosis to sink in (along with accepting it and letting go of the anger that comes along with it when you find out that the specialist you have trusted for 10 years was completely wrong--whether it was out of sheer ignorance and stupidity the entire time, or fear of a malpractice suit after a certain length of time because there was just too much evidence piling up that really couldn't be explained away, I don't know), and dealing with a multitude of external stressors that I have very little control over.  For the most part, it has been those external goings on that have hindered my blogging.  While much of it affects my life, and to an extent my health, it's trying to figure out that fine line what should be written about versus what should remain inside or in a private journal offline.  In many ways, I feel that I cannot be totally honest with any of my readers in explaining how I live and deal with my illness when there is so much else going on at the same time that affects my life, but say very little about what much of my life is really like.  On the other hand, some things are also not my place to tell, no matter how much they affect me.  I will resume my writing more regularly as I work through all of this and find a compromising medium.  But for now, my blogs will most likely continue to be irregular.