Ever since I was originally diagnosed with Fibromyalgia almost a decade ago, I never made it a secret. I did as much research as I could, I joined several support groups (mostly online), and I spread awareness of it, hoping to educate others that yes, it IS real, and yes, it can be extremely debilitating much of the time between the pain and fatigue. I was very open about medications my doctors tried me on, physical therapies, diets... The same held true all 9 times I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease. Then when my health really went south this year, I became more open as my neurologist realized that I have more than Fibromyalgia and I was thrown into "pin the tail on the diagnosis," going from one specialist to another, one test after another. I became friends with an awesome woman named Chris, who in turn asked me to help her start an awareness/activist page, which I continue to work on along with my blog. I see it this way: the more people who are aware of these "invisible illnesses," the less likely they are to judge us because we look just fine and some days we may even act just fine.
But after the other day, I find myself questioning my openness of that. It's very rare my parents get to go on vacation. Even rarer for me. So when my mother told me they were going away for a few days, I'm not sure who was more excited-them or me. For me, it meant I had a few days of the house to myself--nothing to do, silence, take out, relaxation at it's peak. And the vet told me how to deal with the dog's severe separation anxiety--some benadryl at night. Perfect! The only thing I had to do (well, not had to, but it should've been 2 hours tops) was take my car to the mechanics for diagnostics and an estimate for an ABS sensor, new tires, and find out why my airbag light is on. It was a LOT more than I expected, but eh, it happens. (And I won't even talk about how I called the school to straighten out another miscommunication and how Starbucks screwed up my iced coffee).
But when I got home, I had a screaming headache from being out in the hot sun in long sleeves, the stress of having an estimate a few hundred dollars more than I expected, and just stress in general, so I ran downstairs to change into shorts and a tank top, not paying much attention. That's when I noticed the back door was slightly open. I didn't think much about it because I open and close the door a few times a day. Maybe I didn't close it all the way, or closed it too hard and it bounced back earlier. I closed it and came back upstairs to discover the dog had eaten both scones I just bought... Almost 7 hours later, I let the dog out before I went to bed and noticed the screen at the front door was pushed in and torn and remembered the back door. Someone was in the house while I was out. After the police showed up, I went downstairs and started looking around. Several of my drawers were open, my jewelry box was overturned, my safe was open, and my pain medication was gone. They never made it upstairs--probably because of the dog.
Nothing else was stolen, though. No jewelry, nothing. Just my pills. It makes me wonder if in my effort to be honest with others and spread awareness, if I didn't somehow invite someone into my home. Many of us with chronic pain illness take pain medications, muscle relaxers, anxiety medications.... sadly, it's not uncommon for family members to steal those medications to get high themselves or sell them on the street, but it does make me wonder just how open does it make us to scumbags in our own community who know we're sick, know we take these medications, and wait for that opportunity like the other day with me? I mean, what if my mother was home? Or if I didn't have the gate up and my dog got downstairs and they were armed? Would they have killed my dog? Or I was home and it was one of those rare days that I had taken my pain meds and the meds had disoriented me? I don't really want to think about it... bad enough I'm washing all of my clothing because some stranger touched it. And my bedding. And I'm scrubbing down all of my furniture and possessions as well.
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