Worn, Ragged, Down, but Not Out...

    I can't even begin to describe how exhausted and beaten up I feel.  It's not from this past weekend (although dealing with a very stressed out, separation anxieted puppy certainly did its share of damage), but just the past 5 months of this latest flare up.  I can't really even call it a flare up after thinking about the past few years.  I blindly followed my rheumatologist's advice anytime these symptoms cropped up.  And even though this flare is the worst to date, even though I know I can just call his office and say "okay, just call in the prescription for the steroids, I'll take the damned things" knowing that in a few days I'll feel better for a few months (with exception of a 25lb weight gain, severe mood swings, and all the temporary, but horrible side effects that come along with steroids), I just can't do it this time.  Because I know now with certainty that this isn't just a severe Fibromyalgia flare.  This isn't another round of Lyme Disease, or a coincidental virus (which has happened twice in the past decade).  It's something else.  And after today, I'm another step closer to finding out what it is.
       I had my second appointment with my ID specialist today.  Naturally, I get a letter over the weekend from my rheumatologists office claiming that they tried to contact me several times last week about an anti-inflammatory medication (that would make anti-inflammatory med #3 from this guy), except for one tiny little flaw--there were no missed calls and no voice mails.  I might almost believe the letter if I hadn't received over a dozen calls and a handful of voicemails from others during that time.  Turns out, he wants me on dangerous amounts of ibuprofen in an attempt to control my "fibromyalgia flare."  In a round about way, if it really WAS fibro attacking my joints, it might just work if it didn't shut down my kidneys and liver first.... I spent over a half hour talking to my ID specialist reviewing my labs, the nightmare visit (and phone calls from) my rheumatologist, went through another brief physical exam, answered about another 100 questions, and waited patiently as he went back over my charts and 5 months worth of labs from 2 doctors and his office.  And held my breath as he shook his head.  (Never a good sign when you see a doctor looking frustrated and shaking his head while he's looking over your charts)
     He finally looks up at me and tells me that he's going to draw a basic panel, even though it's been less than a month since my last test, but I'm STILL running a low-ish grade fever.  He also admits that he's out of his league and specialty based on my lab results and symptoms, but he knows a doctor who should be able to help--another rheumatologist.  He explains that even though he's not a trained rheumatologist, his educated guess would be either Polymyalgia Rheumatica or Still's Disease, but he's not entirely certain which one, if either one.  He does agree with my neurologist that this definitely is not my fibromyaglia in any way shape or form (but has no doubt that I do have it and that it is real, but it just plays no part in what's going on now), and it's not the result of stress.  I actually broke down in tears because for the second time in 3 months a specialist has told me the same thing--it's not fibro, it's not stress, it's not in my head (especially since you can't exactly fake a blood test), and he's in over his head, but believes he knows someone who can help and has no problem referring me over to them if it means finding a diagnosis, receiving treatment, and finding relief--you know, those things doctors are supposed to do? 
     I've heard of PMR before, but I'm not really familiar with it, other than the Latin translation--"many painful joints" and my dr explained that it's treated with low doses of prednisone daily or every other day from either years to the rest of my life (eek! that S word again!!)  I have never heard of Still's Disease before today and only did some cursory research as to how it's diagnosed when I got home.  All I really know about both are they are autoimmune disorders that affect the joints.  I'm not going to get my hopes up too high with the new rheumatologist given my history with doctors, but we'll see.  One red flag went up when I made my appointment this afternoon--no one in his practice treats or deals with fibromyalgia.  At least my neurologist does if it comes down to it, but only time will tell.  My fibro is on the back burner compared to what's going on now.  I just want a diagnosis and with Faith, Hope, and a little bit of good luck, I'll have it in as early as 2 weeks.