So the only thing I feel like doing right now is curling up under the blankets and going back to sleep. Lately, it feels like no matter how much sleep I get, it's nowhere near enough. My dad came home from the hospital last week and is slowly getting better. My mother has been cooking a real dinner every night since (I admit as much as it sucked, I kinda missed the Ramen Noodle or Grilled Cheese dinners for the past few months) and is also exhausted. I suggested instead of taking something out to defrost and going through the whole cooking, serving, cleaning up thing, we just do a leftover night. It's not like we haven't had plenty every night. Turns out, with exception of the turkey burgers, my dad has eaten his way through all of them... So we had tuna and soup for dinner instead.
Semester has started back up, so my weeks are busier than even I expected. Three days a week I'm up at 4am, take mom to dialysis, come home, work out, shower, maybe do something around the house, pick her up, and whatever the rest of the day brings (homework, doctors, errands, etc). The other two are spent all day on campus, but once again, I start a new semester sick. I still have to deal with that stupid traffic ticket, which by now has been so blown out of proportion it's absurd. It was adjourned twice before, once when I called to plead not guilty, and the second time was just before my father's bypass surgery. I tried Tuesday night to adjourn it because between feeling like crap, barely able to move, and only having $20 left in my bank account, it would have been a complete waste of everyone's time. So I called my rheumatologist and he faxed over a note for me under the condition that I get in to see my primary ASAP. The clerk took one look at it and not only told his nurse off, but explained to me either show up (and go to jail since I didn't even have a down payment for the fines, let alone court costs), or get a bench warrant issued. In no uncertain terms, it was her decision to determine what is and is not considered an acceptable excuse and what is not as opposed to the judge ruling on my case. She also took the liberty of telling me that I was lying about the giant clusterfuck also known as my life (since no one has that much bad luck and all) and she had no intentions of showing the paperwork to the judge. And she didn't, so a warrant was put out for me. My mother had put aside some extra money just in case something in this house broke, we were short come bill, tax, oil, etc etc etc time, or an emergency. I felt horrible borrowing from her, but the fact of the matter is, if I go to jail, my family is screwed. Neither of them can drive, my car would be impounded even if my mother was able to drive, and it would make an already bad situation worse. While I understand there are traffic laws and such for reasons, but sometimes things happen and officers should not only take that into consideration, but learn how to be decent human beings before given a badge instead of being sent out in a car, with a badge and gun, and use the badge to act like macho assholes. From the time I was pulled over until this morning (and I can almost guarantee it will continue the second I enter the court room), I wasn't treated like someone who has no criminal record, a spotless driving record, and was only trying to get my car, mother, dog, and myself home before it went into the shop, but I was treated like a low life criminal. I didn't realize that so many people know their car may not make it too far because it's so broken, but put their dog in it, and just go for a drive. Nor did I realize it's a felony (at least if you dealt with them, you'd think it was) to have car trouble and no money for a tow truck, leaving you two options: try to get the car home, or spend the day on the side of the road trying to reach someone to pick you up and get your car impounded for illegal parking. So when I stopped in this morning to post my bail (and reschedule my court date), the clerk who was so tough and heartless saw the 3" folder full of medical documentation, repair receipts, etc to prove that I wasn't lying ran and hid in her office. I guess it is pretty easy to be brave and tough hiding on the other end of a computer or telephone receiver. Or behind a badge and gun, for that matter.
But I did finally reach my primary doctor and was told to come in immediately this morning (she's always had odd hours and I can never seem to remember what they are). I walked out the door with a note to show not just the court, but my rheumatologist and a request for a series of labs I have to get done by the end of this week. She's pretty convinced that because of all the stress I've been under recently, my EBV has returned. The symptoms and situation fit and it's not uncommon that once they find the virus in your system, given the right circumstances (such as stress and/or illness), it can and does rear its ugly head again. She's also running full blood panels, RA panels, and again an ANA test for Lupus.... As much as I want answers, if she is right about EBV, there isn't anything I can do about it except plenty of rest, fluids, and wait it out. Again. Some people hate going to doctors even for cases like the flu, but as much as I hate having to go from one specialist to another to find out what is behind my autoimmune problems, just once I'd like to go to the doctor for something stupid like tonsilitis or a sinus infection. And now that my puppy has finally given up stealing my blankets and bouncing all over the bed, I'm going back to bed.
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