Zen Garden

     So my life has been anything but a Zen Garden as of late, but just those two words bring to mind peace, tranquility, stability, and calm.  It hasn't been without irony and humour, though.  It seems ever since my ortho informed me that I have no other option but to have another knee surgery, little to no exercise for 2 weeks, followed by very light exercise, stretching, and just take it easy overall considering my first chance to fix the stupid thing is in December I have been doing just about anything but.  I'm still working on cleaning out and re-organizing the house, doing my typical obsessive perfectionism when it comes to my school work, and running in every direction seemingly at the same time.  

     Somehow (and I'm not even going to question it, but simply go with it), my brother, sister-in-law, and I are speaking to each other again, I've gotten rid of more people in my life who bring nothing but negativity to it, and somehow managed to keep what little sanity I have left in tact. 

     On a humorous note, my previous ex seems to find that his "mental state" and life of hell are all my fault.  Keep in mind that this was the same guy who swooped in a week after my ex of 3 and a half years ended our relationship in an EMAIL on facebook, promised me everything under the sun, but neglected to tell me that while he was sending me gifts, telling me how much he loves me and is there for me, he was trying to patch things up with his legally separated, soon-to-be ex wife AND had a serious girlfriend back home.  He also ended our relationship in an email, telling me how sorry he was, how horrible and wretched hurting me made him feel, and even alluded that suicide was his only option to end the pain.  Naturally, I was worried sick about him since no one knew where he was and he wasn't answering his cell phone.  So, I made a few phone calls afraid he made good on his threat of suicide, got in touch with his commanding officer, and sent a copy of the email as requested to make sure he was okay.  Then he got mad at ME because he got in trouble.  It gets funnier from there... his girlfriend emailed me her phone number and proceeded to explain that they had been together for almost a year, how serious they were, and that he told her I was just a "crazy friend" who only thought there was something between us.  Then his wife found out just before he went home on leave.  Naturally, I talked to his wife after a friend of mine saw fit to tell her about what he was up to and he got the door slammed in the face treatment.  About 2 weeks ago, he emails me out of the blue, telling me how much he loves me, how sorry he is, how beautiful I am, how much I do and always will mean to him, how his girlfriend was a very abusive bitch, but he'll never be able to trust me again.  I'm still confused about that last part considering I lied about nothing and the only thing I did wrong was put my trust (again) in the wrong guy.  A few days ago, he emails my friend to let me know that it's my fault his life has gone to hell.  Maybe it's a guy thing, since my ex is still blaming me for things that go wrong.  Maybe my logic is just illogical.  They lie, cheat, steal, break up in an email (which is about as cowardly as it gets), then I'm to blame when the big K catches up to them and they're miserable.  Really?  With logic like theirs, the only thing to do is laugh.  But, I will do one thing I was accused of--so Kevin?  Yes, part of this blog is about you since I've already been accused of spreading your personal business, I may as well.  And I know I can and deserve MUCH better than the cowardly nutcase you are.  And so can your ex-wife.  And I hope she finds it after the hell you put her through.