Fall Flowers Are Gone, Winter Flowers Coming

     Technically, it's still autumn for a little less than a month, but as Thanksgiving passed, the winter season has started.  The autumn candles have been stored away, while in their place are the evergreen and frosted cranberry candles.  The grass is almost dead outside while the leaves are all off the trees, giving everything a dreary, empty, dead look.  It starts to get dark around 4pm, with sunset about a half hour later and it's hard to imagine that soon enough everything will be blanketed in garland, lights, and snow. 
     This Thanksgiving was a tough one.  I haven't seen my family in almost a year since they live about an hour away and my car door of all things broke just as we were leaving for Easter.  It's funny how time seems to escape us.  I can't believe how big my nieces are getting (though I do see them about 6 times a year if I'm lucky), how small and frail my grandmother looks, yet how much still hasn't changed over the years.  Yes, my family has grown as my cousins and brother are married and having children, but sometimes it feels like we are all worlds apart.  My dad spent his Thanksgiving with his roommate having their own turkey dinner.  Earlier that morning I received a text from him wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving and telling me he loves me.  The day just felt empty somehow without him.  I can count on one hand how many times he's told me he loved me and it just didn't feel right without him there.  I'm just thankful my mother and I made it through the day.
     I did learn a few things, though, and am making choices so that I can at least try to find some kind of peace in my life.  Family or not, "friends" or not, I am no longer going to expend energy to those in my life who are only into themselves and cannot even bother to try to consider how their actions affect people other than themselves.  I simply can't do it anymore.  We all make our choices in life and our actions have consequences.  In this case, I just stopped caring about those who can't be bothered to give me or my feelings a second thought. 
     People in general have saddened and disappointed me lately.  Thanksgiving was traditionally a holiday to celebrate family and give thanks for what you have in your life.  (I'll leave out my thoughts about the history of the holiday here...) Now it's about meeting up, gobbling down too much food, catching up on life between mouthfuls of turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, and pie before rushing out the door to line up outside Walmart, other big name chain stores, or the local mall to save a few dollars on more crap we really don't need.  Have a 40" television?  Not good enough if Walmart is selling a 50" or 60" for a few dollars left.  Xbox?  Why not have the latest version, even if the one sitting on your shelf is only a year old?  I've read reports of people being bitten over sheets, shot over parking spaces, and pepper sprayed over electronics.  And this was just in the last 24 hours.  Nothing is that important. At least materialistic crap isn't.  Especially when you take into consideration that 3/4 of Walmart's workforce is on public assistance because they're not paid enough to live without it. 
     So I spent the day decorating.  My nephew was here last weekend and wanted to start putting up some decorations we had and I finished up his projects as per his instructions and finished most of the decorating outside.  It's too nice of a weekend to be shoved around in a crowded mall or big name store.  Sadly, most of the light strands were ruined in one way or another, so I have to go out later and buy a few to finish up the lights.  So for now, the Pointsettias are out, the garland is hung, and my Charlie Brown tree is ready for the season.  I did most of my shopping last week online with exception of my parents.  So it's a matter of waiting for them to show up in my mailbox.  Simple, effective, and all I have to do is wrap them as they come in.  No driving all over the place going in and out of stores hoping to find what I'm looking for without coming home covered in bruises by rude people, no stress, and it gives me time to focus on what's really important--taking care of everything else.  So now I just wait for it to start snowing...